It’s Him, Nice But Dim

(I work as a receptionist for a dental office. Even though we’re a relatively small practice, we still have about a thousand active patients at any given time. One day, I get this call from an elderly gentleman:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Practice]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *enthusiastically* “Hi! It’s me!”

(I see that caller ID simply reads, “Private Caller.”)

Me: “Well, hello! I’d love to help you today; can I start with your name?”

Caller: “Yeah, yeah, it’s me! You know me!”

(We do know quite a few of our patients by name on sight, and in most cases, a first or last name is enough to correctly identify any mystery patient.)

Me: *laughs* “Yes, I’m sure I do! Okay, I just need to find your file in the computer, though. Can I get your last name?”

Caller: “I was just there; you know me!”

Me: *cheerfully* “We get a lot of patients, since [Doctor] is very popular. When were you last in?”

Caller: *still very enthusiastic* “I was there a month or two ago! You know me!”

Me: *giving up* “Oooh! Yes, of course, I know you! What can I do for you?”

(I managed to glean some details during the rest of our conversation, and after searching our appointment book through the previous three months, I was able to successfully match a name to the unidentified caller. He was right! I DID know him because he had been in quite frequently for a brief time, and because he was always so cheerful at the visits. He’s still a patient and every time he calls our office, he only says, “Hi, it’s me!”, though all our receptionists know who “me” is now.)