It’s Going To Be A Long, Salty Season

, , , , , , | Right | September 25, 2018

(I work at a movie theater were we season our popcorn kernels with a powder called “seasoning salt.” We can’t make popcorn without this, as we combine them before they are even popped. We also have regular table salt available for customer use at every cash register. A man comes up with his family.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I’d like [Complicated Order], and a large popcorn with the free refill.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I get all his other items before the popcorn as my coworkers are currently all getting popcorn, too, and I don’t want to waste time standing there, waiting for my turn. After that’s all done, I start to get the popcorn.)

Me: “And would you like butter on your popcorn, sir?”

Customer: “No salt.”

Me: “We don’t add any table salt to our popcorn, sir. Would you like butter, though?”

Customer: “Yes, but no salt. No salt.”

(I realize he’s very determined about there being no salt; I begin to consider the seasoning salt. I put a small amount of popcorn into one of our complimentary cups and give it to him.)

Me: “This is our normal popcorn with just the seasoning. Would you like to try it to make sure it’s not too salty?”

Customer: *pushing popcorn back towards me without trying any* “Yes, that’s fine.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I think it’s a little weird he suddenly lost his determination, but we’re in the middle of a rush so I don’t question it, and I get him his large popcorn, with butter.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. That’ll be [price].”

Customer: *tries a piece of popcorn* “I didn’t want butter.”

(I’m about to offer to remake it, even though I know he said yes when I asked if he wanted butter, but then he tries another piece.)

Customer: “I said no salt!

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, there is no table salt on the popcorn. There is our seasoning, which was on the popcorn I offered for you to try, and you said it was okay.”

Customer: “There is salt! I can feel it on my fingers.” *shoves his fingers in my face and rub the tips together*

Me: “Sir, I don’t even have salt behind the counter; the only place we have it is here for the customers.” *points to shaker by my register* “It is probably the seasoning you do not like.”

Customer: “I didn’t want any salt! And where’s my free refill?!”

Me: “I can get you your free refill, but it will have the same seasoning on it. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Fine. No butter.”

Me: “Yes, Sir.”

(I get the refill with NO butter and set it down on the counter where the kids instantly grab it and start eating. The father takes a piece.)

Customer: “I SAID NO SALT!”

Me: “Sir, as I’ve said before, the popcorn does not have salt on it, just the seasoning we use on all our popcorn.”

Customer: “It has salt! I can feel it!” *rubs fingers in my face again* “You said you would make me popcorn without the seasoning! I didn’t want seasoning!”

Me: “Sir, I did not say that. I cannot make you popcorn without seasoning; that is why I offered for you to try our popcorn before getting it for you.”

Customer: “You said you would get me popcorn without seasoning! I didn’t want salt!”

(He is now yelling and pounding his fists on the counter, getting the attention of quite a few other customers.)

Customer: “I want to see your manager!”

(I have had a bored look on my face to show that I am unimpressed by his tantrum, but now I make a point to smile as widely as I can because he has annoyed me and taken up my time, and I know it’ll make him even more mad.)

Me: *with my extra-chipper voice* “Certainly, sir! Just one moment!”

(I go into the back to get my manager who is restocking. I tell him the whole story before we both head back to my register.)

Manager: “Hello, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I wanted popcorn with no salt, and she put salt on it! I can feel it on my fingers! Taste it!” *pushes bag toward manager who calmly takes a piece*

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but this does not have any salt on it.” *casually takes another piece* “I’m not tasting any salt.”

Customer: “But I CAN FEEL IT!” *shoves his fingers in my manager’s face*

Manager: “I have just eaten two pieces, and I can tell you there is no salt on this popcorn, sir. Would you like me to try another piece?” *reaches towards bag again*

Customer: “No!” *pulls bag away* “It’s fine.”

Manager: “Great!” *looks at me and smiles*

Me: “All right, sir, that’ll be [price].”

Customer: *pays and walks away, muttering about salt*

Me: *talking to my manager still standing beside me* “How did you know he’d give up if you kept eating his popcorn?”

Manager: “Oh, I didn’t, I was just hungry and he offered. Good popcorn, but not enough salt for my tastes.”

(We both had a laugh and went about the rest of our day.)

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