It’s Dangerous To Open Alone, Take This!

We have a no-lone-worker policy, which means I can’t open the shop until I have a second person with me. My morning cashier is off sick, so I’ve delayed opening and put a sign on the door explaining why we’re closed and what time we’ll open. Nonetheless, customers still ring the doorbell to ask why we’re closed.

This is the fourth person to ring it in an hour. They keep rattling the locked door as I come to open it.

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “No, I don’t have any volunteers in yet.”

Customer: “What time are you opening?”

I tap the sign on the door.

Me: “One o’clock.”

The customer looks at the sign, which is on the door they’ve been rattling furiously.

Customer: “Oh. But I need to give you a donation!”

Me: “Well, I’m not supposed to take donations while we’re closed, but I will this one time.”

The customer reverently handed me a small plastic bag before dashing off. I got back to the stockroom, wondering why the customer hadn’t just given it to the other charity shop next door. I opened the bag to find… two packs of out-of-date coffee. I died a little inside.