Food To Swear By

(My sister, age two and a half, is sitting at the table in her booster chair looking at her baked potato. Suddenly, she begins to scream.)

Sister: “F***!”

(We all turn to look at her, aghast.)

Sister: “F***! F***!”

Mother: “Sweetie, what…why are you shouting?”

Sister: *shouting* “I want f***!”

(She points angrily at her potato.)

Mother: *to my father* “She heard that from you, you realize!”

Father: *to my mother* “As if you never swear!”

(My parents proceed to fight. My sister is still screaming and pointing at her food. I slowly walk over to the silverware drawer, remove one item, and hold it up where my sister can see it. She squeals in delight and bounces in her chair.)

Sister: “Yay!”

Me: “Yes, sweetheart. Here comes your fork.”

Our parents: *in unison* “Oh!”

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