It’s An Acquired Taste

(I work in acquisitions for a major credit card company. We’re the people you call when you want to sign up for a new credit card, or to be taken off the mailing list for pre-approved credit card offers. This day, I am listening in to help train a new employee. I’ve been explaining to her some of the things about this department before she takes any calls.)

Me: “So, a lot of calls you get will be people wanting to be removed from the mailing list for pre-approved offers. It’s usually not a big deal, but some people make it way bigger of a deal than they need to. So, get used to a lot of yelling and verbal abuse.”

New Employee: “Oh, well, I worked in Retention before transferring here. I had to deal with all SORTS of angry customers trying to cancel their credit cards, so I know how to diffuse angry customers.”

(The phone rings.)

New Employee: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card]. My name is [New Employee]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, you can take me off your d*** mailing list!”

New Employee: “Okay, I’d be happy to help you with that. First I just need—”

Customer: “I can’t believe you people keep sending me this crap! As if I don’t have enough junk mail to deal with already!”

New Employee: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, but—”

Customer: “And you f****** scam artists, always trying to swindle people with your credit scams! Probably selling my social security number to everyone you know! What if someone else had stolen my mail and filled out this offer in my name?!”

New Employee: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but to—”

Customer: “Do you know how much of a headache you cause me with your d*** f****** junk mail?! I oughtta sue all your a**** for everything you’re worth!”

New Employee: “Ma’am—”

Customer: “You haven’t heard the last of me! I’ll tell everyone I f****** know to stay away from you! All you’ve done is harass me!”

New Employee: “Ma’am, can I—”

Customer: “Well, F*CK YOU!” *slams down the phone, ending the call*

Me: “Welcome to Acquisitions.”