It’s An Acme Miracle

Current Events, Funny, Jerk, One-Liner, Retail, USA, Virginia | Friendly | October 8, 2020

My local dollar store has taped Xs on the floor to aid with social distancing. I am in line and standing at the appropriate distance but not precisely on the mark.

A snarky woman behind me is grumbling about how slow the three cashiers are but I guess she gets bored when no one will join in and agree so she decides to turn her attention to me. She loudly clears her throat.

Woman: “You’re supposed to stand on the X!”

I turn to see a fifty-something woman, who fits all the stereotypes of entitlement, staring daggers at me.

Remembering a meme I saw yesterday, I prepare a response.

I look up at the ceiling and down at the X, and then take a deliberate step to my right.

Me: “Uh-uh! I’ve seen too many Roadrunner cartoons to fall for that crap!”

And just like that, the angry woman was snort-laughing. She was almost pleasant to the cashier when it was her turn. I might have been proud of myself if the joke had been from my own brain, not the Internet.

This story is part of our Best Of October 2020 roundup!