It’s All Dung And Games Until The Coworker Opens Their Mouth

I worked as a game master in an escape room for a few years. In our western-themed room, we had a puzzle where players had to smell a series of spittoons and match their smells to info presented on Wanted posters around the room. 

One of the posters mentioned a cowboy who was in charge of dealing with cow manure. Of course, we didn’t have a spittoon that smelled like manure, because it’s no fun being stuck in a room for an hour with something that smelled like manure. 

Chatting in the operations room one day, I mentioned to my coworkers:

Me: “I’m so thankful that none of our spittoons smell like manure.”

One of my coworkers, a self-indulgent king of mansplaining, chimes in:

Coworker: “A manure spittoon wouldn’t be that bad. It’s used in tons of different types of foods.”

Not exactly sure what he meant, I decided to do some research just in case there was something I didn’t know. It was no surprise that I found nothing to support his claim. Later, he adds:

Coworker: “Manure has a sweet smell.”

At this point, I had to say something:

Me: “You do know that manure is cow dung, and it would stink up the room?”

He argued for a minute or two, his confidence completely unshaken, then pulled back in thought. He then admitted:

Coworker: “I was thinking of molasses, not manure.”

This idiot literally didn’t know the difference between s*** and sugar.