It’s About To Get Real Nutty

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2020

I work at a restaurant and convenience store combined. We also sell hand-dipped ice cream on the side. I only have about two weeks left at the job, and my patience with the denizens called “patrons” is wearing thin. This happens on a particularly busy day.

Me:
“Hello! Would you like some ice cream?”

Customer:
“Yes, I think I’d like this one.” *Points to a flavor* “Does it have any nuts in it?”

Me:
“I’m not sure. Is it because you don’t like nuts or because of an allergy?”

Customer:
“I’m severely allergic to nuts.”

Me:
“Well, in that case, I would have to recommend not having any of it at all. All of the ice cream we sell is manufactured around nuts, and cross-contamination is inevitable.”

The customer points at another flavor.

Customer:
“Even that one?”

Me:
“Yes. As I said, all of them.”

Customer:
“Can I try one?”

Me:
“I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that, especially since you told me you’re allergic to nuts. If you go into anaphylactic shock I would get in trouble.”

Customer:
“Do you really not have any ice cream without nuts?”

There is a line of about six people waiting. 

Me:
“Ma’am, I don’t know how much clearer I can be. The only thing not contaminated by nuts is the Virgin Mary herself. I can’t help you.”

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