It’s A War-Zone Down There!

(My boyfriend and I are both history nerds and use wars (based on how bloody the war was) to describe the severity of my period. For example, the Cold War would be like best possible day since no blood was shed and World War II would be the worst possible day since it has the highest casualty count. We are hanging out with a mutual friend.)

Me: *hugs my knees to my chest and exhales in pain*

Friend: “Cramps?”

Me: *nods*

Boyfriend: “Vietnam War?”

Me: “Somewhere between Russian Civil War and Chinese Civil War.”

Boyfriend: *jumps to his feet* “I’m gonna go buy you some ice cream! I’ll be back in a bit!” *runs out of house*

Friend: “What just happened?!”