It’s “A” Problem

I’ve worked in a few call centres, and I’m well used to people outside of Scotland occasionally struggling with my accent — even when I make an effort to slow down and speak clearly — so if I’m giving out address information and postcodes, I always use the phonetic alphabet to avoid confusion. This usually works.

Me: “Okay, the postcode is A for Alpha, B for Bravo…”

Caller: “Wait, wait, wait, the postcode starts with Alpha? How do you spell that?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m using the phonetic alphabet so it’s clear what Ietter I’m saying. I don’t literally want you to write ‘Alpha.'”

Caller: “Well, please stop it; it’s confusing me.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll just say the letters and numbers as they should appear now. That’s AB1, 2CD—”

Caller: “What was that first character?”

Me: “A.”

Caller: “Can you spell that?”

Me: “Umm, no. I don’t think I can.”