It’s A Privilege To Pee

, , , , | Working | April 10, 2020

(My husband and I are traveling and we stop at a fast food place to get a drink. I am pregnant and I have to pee. This conversation ensues, word for word, with the employee working the register.)

Me: “Hi there. Can someone come and unlock the bathroom for me?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Oh, okay, then. Is there a key I can use?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Um. Is the bathroom just unlocked, then?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Well. Okay. I really need to use the bathroom.”

Employee: “There is a button that someone needs to press to unlock the door.”

(The employee makes no move to press the button or alert anyone else. I am starting to shuffle uncomfortably from one foot to the other when a random customer in line interjects.)

Random Customer: “Buddy, can you just press the button so she can use the bathroom?”

(The employee looks stunned by this idea but calls out to the back asking someone to let me into the women’s room. I go and stand by the bathroom door, but nothing happens for several minutes. I walk back to the counter.)

Me: “Can someone please open the door to the bathroom?”

(Someone finally pressed the button. I eye-rolled into oblivion while emptying my bladder.)

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