Itching With Respect

(My fiancé and I are at our shop. During a slow moment, I lightly scratch his head as he works.)

Fiancé: “You itched me.”

(I start laughing.)

Fiancé: “I’m gonna have to punish you, aren’t I? I’m gonna spank you. You’d enjoy that, wouldn’t you?”

Me: *laughing* “Not really.”

Fiancé: *laughing* “I’m trying to talk dirty! You know how unnatural it is for me to talk dirty!”

Me: “Yet you can do it all day to the phone.”

Fiancé: “I don’t respect the phone!”