It Wasn’t Jackson, I’ll Grant You That

(A customer I served a few moments ago has come back up to my register with their child, saying I short changed them.)

Customer: “You said my total was [price just under $20]. I paid with a $50! Where’s the rest of my change?”

(I open my register to see only three $20 bills and certainly no $50.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but there’s no such bills in here. I haven’t done a deposit today either so I can safely say that at no point have I been giving a $50.”

Customer: “Well, you obviously skimmed it then! Stole it to pay for your drug habit or something!”

Me: “Sir, can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “No, I threw it away! Get me my change, or get me your manager!”

Child: “Daddy, you didn’t pay with a $50.”

(The customer promptly freezes and looks at his son.)

Child: “The picture on the money you gave was President Andrew Jackson. Teacher says he’s on the $20. President Grant is on the $50.”

(There is a moment of silence. The kid smiles proudly at remembering this fact. His father looks like he’s about to strike him for exposing his scam.)

Customer: “Really? Well then you can go to school and tell your teacher she’s the reason you’re not getting any ice cream today, now that daddy has no money to pay for it!”

(The child’s smile died as his father grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the store.)