It Wasn’t An Act

(I work in the box office of a theater. It’s about five minutes before curtain and one of the actors comes racing up to the box office in costume: nice pants, a white shirt, and an elegant vest.)

Actor: “Hi! Uh, real quick here. My wife just left our infant son with [Intern] and is on her way here.”

(A group of patrons enters behind him making a lot of noise and I mishear what he said.)

Me: “Left him alone?!”

Actor: *chuckling* “No! No, with [Intern].”

Me: *laughing* “Oh! Sorry. I’m caught up now.”

(The group of patrons begins to move around him, all but shoving him away from the window.)

Customer #1: “We need our tickets?”

Me: “Sure, just a moment please.”

(I look at the actor but he’s sort of shuffled to the side to make room for them.)

Customer #2: *stepping rudely around the actor* “Yeah, we need to pick up tickets for this show.”

Me: *thinking it’ll be quicker to just hand over the tickets* “What name are they under?”

(Everyone in the groups starts giving me different names. It’s six tickets under four different names. The actor winces, realizing this will take more time than he has. He steps forward again.)

Actor: “Sorry, but I have to be on stage in five minutes.”

([Customer #2] steps back in surprise.)

Me: *relieved* “Right. So, she’s on her way?”

Actor: “She is, but she may still be a few minutes late.”

Me: “I’ll let the house manager know.”

Actor: “Thank you!” *dashes off*

Customer #1: *sniffs and mumbles* “I thought he was just some volunteer.”

Me: *smiling* “So, what names were those under?”