It Turns Out That I DO Speak Asian!

I’m trilingual in English, Spanish, and Chinese. I work at a local store where the uniform is a basic red polo and grey khakis. On my way back from work, I stop by an auto parts store where they wear similar uniforms to get some oil, spark plugs, and basic car maintenance stuff. I am looking at the spark plugs when an Asian lady probably in her mid-fifties approaches me.

Lady: “Do you guys carry this thing that you put on top of a gasket for Hondas?”

I don’t answer at first because I have one earbud in and think she is talking to the dude at the counter. She taps me on the shoulder.

Lady: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: “Oh, sorry, do you need to get through?”

Lady: “I asked you a question!”

I reply as calmly as I can.

Me: “I don’t work here, ma’am.”

Lady: “But you have a red polo shirt on! You must work here!”

Me: “Go bother the person at the counter with your question.”

She walks away, talking to herself in Chinese.

Lady: *In Chinese* “That’s one way to lose your job, you slut. Congratulations on being the next person in the unemployment line.”

She starts to complain to the guy at the counter.

Employee: “Ma’am, she doesn’t work here.”

Lady: “Yeah, well, she shouldn’t anymore, thank you.”

I walk up to the register behind her and speak to her in near-perfect Chinese.

Me: “Excuse me, but I need to purchase these items with the money I made at work before coming here.”

Her face went white; you’d think she was Casper The Ghost. I paid and left.

Related:
Don’t You Speak Asian?, Part 9
Don’t You Speak Asian?, Part 8
Don’t You Speak Asian?, Part 7
Don’t You Speak Asian?, Part 6
Don’t You Speak Asian?, Part 5