It Takes A Village, But This Ain’t It

I lived in a small-ish town as a kid where it was perfectly safe for a third-grader to walk around alone, but I looked extremely young for my age so was often stopped by older women. One day, I was walking back from my friend’s house when a random woman stopped me.

Woman: “Are you alone?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “Do you know your way home?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “Are your parents nearby?”

Me: “No.”

Woman: “Well, they should be. Tell them they need to pluck your unibrow.”