It Only Works If You’re The Fed

Customer: “Can I withdraw everything from my checking account?”

Me: *processes transaction* “There you are. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you tell me my balance?”

Me: “Well, after that transaction, your balance is $0.”

Customer: “But I still have checks!”

Me: “I’m sorry–”

Customer: “I still have checks left in my checkbook, so I can still get money, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am. You can only write out checks if you have that money available in your account.”

Customer: “But I still have checks! Why would they give me so many checks, then?!”

Me: “So you have checks for when you do have money?”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just write one out anyway!”

Me: “You’ll be charged a $35 fee for over-drafting your account.”

Customer: “I thought I had a free checking account. You’re going to charge me for using my free account?!”

Me: “No, we charge you for spending money you don’t have.”

Customer: “I’M NOT SPENDING MONEY! I’M WRITING A CHECK!”

Me: “Have a good day, ma’am.”