It Must Be Very Stressful To Be This Stupid

I had a coworker who wasn’t the fizziest pop in the fridge. When the Aurora theater shooting happened (in 2012), she came into work the next day crying.

Coworker: “I could’ve died last night!”

Of course, everyone was asking:

Everyone: “OMG! What happened?! Are you okay?”

Coworker: “Yes, but I went to the movies last night. He was so close to us; he could’ve picked my theater!”

What followed was an awkward silence before someone said:

Coworker #2: “That happened in Colorado, not North Carolina.”

Coworker: *Confused* “But I saw the report on our morning news; it must be a local story! Why would they report Colorado stories here?! This is North Carolina!”

Yes, she didn’t know that they reported on other areas, too.

She then continued her tears; she wasn’t letting an opportunity for attention pass her by. She could barely work from the “trauma”.