It Must Be The Year Of The Moron

It is Lunar New Year, and while no one in the store is Chinese, we are located in Chinatown, so we have a few celebration posters up and we are enjoying some of the celebrations outside while we work.

A grumpy-looking customer comes up to the counter.

Customer: “What’s all that ruckus outside?!”

Me: “It’s Lunar New Year, so the Chinese community is celebrating.”

Customer: “Bah! Why did they invent their own new year, trying to be special?! We should all celebrate the one true New Year, as told by Jesus Christ!”

Me: “I don’t think that’s in the Bible.”

Customer: “Of course it is! It’s a Christian holiday!”

Me: “I don’t think—”

Customer: *Interrupting* “That’s your first mistake! When you have Jesus, you don’t need to think.”

Me: “That… explains a lot. Will that be everything, sir?”