It Depends On What You Do With The Finger

(I have a friend who really is very bright, but she can be an airhead sometimes, and doesn’t always know the proper word for a situation. We are sitting and talking, when she begins to poke at my face. She’s clearly just messing with me, but she accidently gets close to my eye, so I just laugh.)

Me: “[Friend], I swear, if you put my eye out, I’m going to bite your finger off.”

Friend: “You can’t do that, [My Name]! That’d be bestiality!”

(I just stare at her with no expression on my face. She laughs and goes to do something, and when she turns back around, a couple of minutes later, I am still staring at her. I can see she realizes she said the wrong thing, and she’s trying to figure out what the correct word was.)

Friend: “That’s… the right word, isn’t it?”

Me: “No! [Friend], no! Just… no, no! [Friend]!”

Friend: “Then what is it?”

Me: “Cannibalism! Cannibalism!”

Friend: *laughs* “Well, it’s the same thing!”

Me: “Thank god you’re pretty.”