It All Ends Swimmingly

(I teach swim lessons to kids, aged 4-12. Many of the children have lisps or other slight speech impediments, and this particular child is very rambunctious and is pushing himself off the wall of the pool and moving quickly through the water.)

Child: “I pee’d you!”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Child: “I PEE’D YOU!”

Me: *fearing the worst* “What do you mean by you ‘pee’d’ me?”

Child: “Look, I’ll do it again!”

(He pushes off the wall and moves quickly through the water again.)

Me: “Oh, you mean you torpedoed me!”

Child: “Yeah! What did you think I meant?”