Is It Too Much To Ask For Just A Hint Of Self-Awareness?

When I was in college, there was a student in my dorm who was very self-centered. To be clear, she was not a mean person; she just totally lacked the instinct to see things from other people’s points of view. It would have to be spelled out for her very clearly.

The best example of this I can remember occurred around dinnertime on Friday, April 19, 2013. Several people from our dorm were seated around the table, and she asked for our advice.

Student: “I submitted an application for a summer internship last week, and they specifically said that they would email everyone back to confirm they received it within a week. But I haven’t heard anything yet. Do you think I should contact them again to check if they got it?”

Me: “What day did you submit it?”

Student: “Last Friday.”

Me: “Well, if it’s only one day past the deadline, you might want to wait an extra day or two…”

Housemate #1: “They probably wouldn’t even see your follow-up until Monday at this point.”

Student: “I guess. I’m kind of annoyed they haven’t confirmed it yet since they specifically promised.”

Housemate #2: “Where is the internship?”

Student: “It’s a photography studio in Boston.”

The table fell completely silent. Monday, the 15th, was the day of the Boston bombing. At that very moment, parts of the Greater Boston Area were under shelter-in-place orders due to the manhunt for the perpetrators. And we were all living in Massachusetts! Our college was in the western part of the state, but between the local news, the national news, and the college offering counseling service for the (many) students who had come from the Boston area, it was IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to have missed what was going on.

Housemate #2: “Well… a lot of offices in Boston haven’t been opening as usual this week, either because the employees were affected by the tragedy or because they were trying to be safe, with the investigation… And Monday was a holiday, so they may not have seen it beforehand, either.”

Student: “Ohhhhh, that makes sense. So, do you think I should wait another week, maybe?”

Housemate #1: “At least.”

I don’t know if she got the internship. I was one of those Boston-area students — although, thankfully, no one I knew closely was injured — and I was too pissed off to ask.