Iron Man Is Done; It’s Time For Iron Woman

, , , , , , | Right | August 11, 2020

As a woman and a frequent blood donor, there are times where I really need iron. I’ve been taking a supplement for years, but it makes me constipated. I do some research online on liquid iron supplements, which are supposed to, well, not do that, but all the ones I see online are really expensive.

One day, while browsing the supplements at an expensive grocery store where I don’t usually shop, I surprisingly find a small, glass bottle of liquid iron — the store’s brand — much cheaper than what I saw online. I decide to try it, and, as it promises on the label, that troubling side effect is gone! It’s now my iron supplement of choice.

Fast forward to a time where I realize I’m almost out right before the time when I need it most. I go the store but can’t find any on the shelf. I ask the girl stocking if they have it at the moment, and she points me right toward it on the shelf… but oh, no, the bottle is covered in dark, sticky goo — the color of the medicine inside — which explains why I couldn’t spot it. And, wouldn’t you know it, it’s the last one on the shelf.

The girl’s about to take it away to throw it out. This is the only place I know of where I can get such a thing at so cheap a price. My voice instinctively pleads, “Another one could have leaked over it, right?”

She replies, “Yeah…” in exactly the tone you’d expect.

I take the bottle from her and examine it. It’s full. There’s no stream of purple liquid dripping out anywhere. The stains are in multiple places; there would probably have to be multiple leaks if it was coming from inside this bottle.

I honestly believe it’s another bottle that leaked on this precious last one and say so. The girl says nothing, but I’m sure she thinks I’m crazy. For a split second, I’m terrified she’s going to insist they can’t sell it to me in that state, that she’ll take it from me to throw away, and I know there’s no magical, endless “back” where they keep secret stashes of merchandise.

Desperate, I blurt out, “My time of the month’s about to start, and you guys are the only ones that sell this.” She nods and moves away.

When I get to the register, I hold it up so the — male — cashier can scan it. To him, I just say, “You don’t want to touch this — something leaked over it — but it’s the last one; I have no choice.” He checks me out without comment.

It’s not until after I exit the store with my prize that I realize how I must have come across. I can only hope I’m not the first desperate customer they’ve ever had who cannot survive without an item of theirs! I hope they just take it as a testimony of how superior their products are.

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