Invasion Of The Spacey Wedding Guests

(A young woman wanders up to the bridal registry counter, her eyes and mouth wide open in amazement. She is alone – no cell phone or BlueTooth headset in sight.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Wow! You know why I’m here?!”

Me: “…I don’t know why you’re here, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: *aside* “HOLD ON MOM!” *to me* “I need Emily’s registry.”

Me: “I have more than one Emily in the system… do you know her last name or the groom’s name?”

Customer: “More than one Emily? WOW! His name is Rocco!”

Me: “I don’t have an Emily and a Rocco….”

(The customer grabs my computer screen so she can see, and points at an e-mail address on the screen.)

Customer: “Rockinred@***.com – THAT’S HIM!!”

Me: “That’s his e-mail address, not his name. His name is Richard.”

Customer: “THAT’S WHAT THEY CALL HIM! HOLD ON, MOM!”

Me: “Okay, he goes by his e-mail address. That’ll be right up for you.”

(Customer wanders off, staring at nearby shiny objects.)