Introducing The Friday Pig!

Australia, Bizarre, Bosses/Owners/Managers, Grocery Store, Silly | Working | February 25, 2022

I started a new job in a super-sized convenience store chain not all that long ago, so I was still settling into both the role itself and the social pecking order. In that early “getting to know each other” phase, I was rather nervous around anyone in a higher position than me.

The front-end manager who oversaw the point of sale registers was a lady I was especially nervous around. She had a permanent serious face on, even outside of shift hours, and a no-nonsense kind of a vibe to her. Despite being one of the shortest managers in the store, she could be one of the fiercest, and I had already seen her verbally joust with a head office member during a smoke break.

I was alone at the registers during an extremely slow point in the day. I hadn’t seen a customer going in or out for about fifteen minutes and had been doing small odd jobs to keep myself busy. This manager came walking over, making a beeline directly for me, wearing what I interpreted as a scowl on her face. I felt my stomach do a flip and started running through a mental list of everything that should be and could be done by this time of day, hoping I hadn’t neglected something and was about to be called out on it. As she got closer, I remember noting that one hand was hidden behind her back — a strange detail, but relevant.

She stopped on the customer side of the register I was manning.

Manager: “Any customers in-store, [My Name]?”

Me: “Um, not that I’ve seen, [Manager]. We’ve actually been really quiet for a while now.”

Manager: “You’re sure?”

Me: “Yes?”

She held my gaze for a few seconds, still wearing a serious expression, and I was starting to sweat a little when she cracked a smile and declares, “Oh, good!” Then, she reached for the store intercom beside me. It crackled to life and her voice resonated throughout the store.

Manager: “Oookay, everyone, it’s Friday! And we all know what that means. Oh, yes, it’s that time of day when we welcome the Friday Piiiiggg!!!”

She then whipped out a dog chew toy in the shape of a pig from behind her back, the kind that makes a guttural “hoorrk” sound when you lightly squeeze it and a near-piercing “soowEEEEK” when you give it a hard and fast squish. Holding the chew toy up to the receiver, she proceeded to vigorously squeeze the thing for a good fifteen seconds or so, alternating between the sounds the toy could produce. The cacophony of sound was ricocheting around the open spaces of the store, echoing back and doubling on itself as she gave this thing a thorough thrashing.

When she was done, she put the receiver back to her mouth and finished the absurd show with a warm sendoff.

Manager: “Thank you for your kind attention, all, and once again, this has been the Friday Pig, signing off! Happy Friday, everyone!”

Then, she hung up the intercom, flashed me another smile, and flounced off in the direction of her office, leaving me standing at the register in shock and wondering what in the h*** had just happened.

As I was mentally digesting the event that had just taken place, a little old lady appeared from a side aisle, popping her head almost fearfully out from behind the end display.

Old Lady: “Ex… excuse me, but… what the f*** is a Friday Pig?!”

I guess there was a customer in-store after all. Oops.

This story is part of the Readers’-Favorite-Stories Of-2022 roundup!