Into The Jerk-Verse

I’m walking down the street wearing a Miles Morales sweater, and a kid and his mom pass me.

Kid: “Cool sweater!”

Me: “Thanks!”

I keep walking. That’s when the mom gets involved.

Woman: “GET BACK HERE NOW!”

I think that maybe I accidentally tripped her son or something, but I turn around and both of them are standing there, completely fine, her son oblivious.

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Woman: “HOW DARE YOU WEAR THAT SWEATER, YOU RACIST!”

Me: “What?”

Woman: “You’re wearing that sweater so you can pretend that you’re not racist and get the support of the BLM community!”

Me: *Still confused* “Um, I just like Miles Mora—”

Woman: “No! You’re just a white person trying to look supportive of BLM!”

Me: *Sighs* “If you’re just gonna waste my time, I’m gonna just keep walking.”

Woman: “NO! YOU WILL NOT WALK AWAY FROM THIS!”

I start walking away as she keeps screaming at me, and I think of the best truth bomb to drop on this woman.

Me: “Oh, and by the way, Miles Morales is half Puerto Rican, and so am I.”

The lady looked surprised, paused, and then kept going. I blocked her out and kept walking.