Interwebz 4 Beginnerz

(I work in a library. I am working at the front desk when a patron approaches.)

Patron: “I don’t know how to get into my email. Can you help me? I’m not really good with computers.”

(I get many questions like this, so I slide out of my chair and follow her to her computer. When I get there, the desktop is up, but no windows are open.)

Patron: *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “You… you have to get on the Internet, ma’am.”