Interview Boo Hoo

Caller: “Hello, is this [My Name]?”

Me: “It is.”

Caller: “We’ve found your CV online and wanted to get in touch as we think you’d be a perfect fit as one of our consultants at [Insurance Agency].”

(While the caller continues their spiel about how the job will suit my skills I check the company online, and find they’re actually the same company that called me several years earlier offering the exact same position when I was last looking for work.)

Caller: “…and so we’d like to have you come in for an interview this Friday. What time would work for you?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I’m not available on Friday.”

Caller: “Not a problem, sir! What time on Monday can you come in?”

Me: “I can’t do Monday either.”

Caller: “Okay, we’ll see you Tuesday then.”

Me: “Can’t do Tuesday.”

Caller: “Wednesday?”

Me: “Nope.”

Caller: “Thursday?”

Me: “Nope.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m in the process of moving out of state. I actually stated that in the cover letter I posted with my CV.”

Caller: “Really?”

Me: “I also put my new address on my CV, which is not anywhere near where you said you were located.”

(I hear key taps over the phone.)

Caller: “Oh… uh… so you did. Funny, it says on your profile you’re still in Washington.”

Me: “Well, I am, for another two weeks or so. I must have forgotten to change that as well.”

Caller: “Well, that’s no problem! We also have offices near your new residence so you can come in and interview next week at—”

Me: “Okay, let me stop you right there. You guys actually called me about a consulting position before, three years ago, and hassled me that it’d lead to a promotion and the likelihood of running my own office in six months. I gave you the benefit of a doubt and attended one of your interviews… whereupon you made me and twenty other people sit through an endless lecture of how successful you are and how we’d be idiots not to work for you. Then, when you actually took me aside to speak with me privately, you told me I’d have to first shell out $1,500 for my insurance license before I could even be hired and agree to work on commission. Yeah, thanks, but unless you can guarantee this is not going to be another complete waste of my time I’m not interested.”

Caller: *hangs up*