Internot For Free

I work in an Internet café in a pretty small town. The Internet café remains popular as it’s a low-income area and not everyone has a computer or Internet at home.

A customer pulls up in a relatively fancy car. He runs in quickly, holding out his phone. He has not turned off his engine.

Customer: “Yo, what’s the Wi-Fi?”

Me: “Sir, this is an Internet café.”

Customer: “Exactly! So you have Internet! What’s the Wi-Fi?”

Me: “Our smallest package is [price] for thirty minutes.”

Customer: “I don’t want to buy your Internet! I just need the Wi-Fi!”

Me: “Sir, this is an Internet café.”

Customer: “Yes… I know! Why do you keep saying that?”

Me: “Because you’re still not getting it. You’re asking us to give you our main product — access to the Internet — for free. We can’t do that. There’s a [Coffee Chain] a few miles up.”

Customer: “But I need data now!”

Me: “Our smallest package is [price] for thirty minutes.”

Customer: “It’s an emergency!”

Me: “What’s the emergency?”

Customer: “I’m going to get outbid on eBay!”

Me: “Good day, sir.”