Internal Intolerance

(My grandma was born before women were allowed to vote, and so could not pass on their citizenship to their children born outside the USA to foreign fathers. Despite not being a citizen, my grandma is super Republican-American in everything she does, and age has made her a little intolerant. Since my grandma got married in the USA, we are all citizens but her. One day we are passing through customs at MIA…)

Customs Employee: *takes one look at my grandma’s Costa Rican passport* “Buenos días, señora.”

Grandma: “Good morning.”

Customs Employee: *stops checking passport and looks up angrily* “Lady, I spoke to you in Spanish. Talk to me in Spanish.”

Grandma: *screaming and in a snarky tone* “WELL, I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! WHERE WE SPEAK ENGLISH!”

(I am panicking in my head, thinking, “That’s it! We are getting detained! My grandma is going to get us kicked out! Is he going to make our life h***?! Am I going to have to bail my grandma out of jail? Are we both going to jail?” Instead, the Customs Employee, shocked, open-mouthed, and speechless, gives my grandma her passport, and she angrily walks away, leaving me behind.)

Me: *to employee still in shock* “Lo siento muchisisisimo.” *I am so so so sorry.*