Insuring A Stable Marriage

(My boyfriend and I are driving across the country to move to Oregon. We decide to make the trip fun and stop at lots of places. We have just left the Grand Canyon a bit ago and Arizona has been endless miles of nothing; more specifically, no restaurants, and we are getting hungry. I start talking about how I want to go to the Donner memorial park in California. It’s worth noting we have a joke where I’m only marrying him for his life insurance.)

Boyfriend: “Babe, we’re gonna die or here. We’re both so hungry we’ll starve. We’ll have to figure out how to survive.”

Me: *after brushing up some facts about survival because of the next location we’re going to* “Well, statistically, you’ll die first, because you’re male. You metabolize protein faster than women and require a higher calorie intake. I store far better than you and require a lower calorie intake. You’re best shot at survival is your age. But you’ll probably die and then I’ll have to eat you.”

Boyfriend: “Babe, would you really eat me?”

Me: “No, they have to recover the body for your life insurance to kick in, right?”

(For some reason after this, we burst into laughter as we finally found an exit with food.)