How To Insult Multiple Generations

, , , , , | Working | March 17, 2018

(There’s a pretty big gap in age between my two half-siblings and me. Our dad got married for the first time when he was a senior in high school, had my brother and sister pretty close together, then married my mom much later and they had me. There’s at least a 20-year age gap between us, and I’m used to them being mistaken for my aunt or uncle. Once, someone even asked if my brother was my dad. When I am 13 years old, my sister gives birth to my niece. I love being an aunt, and I want to go with my sister to a sale at a local store for baby clothes. We pick several things out, and I’m pushing the stroller for my sister so she can count all of her items. Everything is going fine, and then we get up to the register.)

Cashier #1: “Did you find everything you needed today?”

Sister: “Yes! I’ll take these items, please.”

Cashier #1: “Sure!” *she sees my niece* “Oh, what a cute baby!”

Me: *excited to be out with my sister and niece* “Isn’t she? She’s so good; she slept through the whole shopping trip.”

Cashier #1: *to my sister* “It must be so nice having a day out with your daughter!”

Sister: “Yes, it is–“

Cashier #1: “And your granddaughter!”

Sister: *stares at the cashier, looks back at me, then to her again* “That’s my sister. She’s thirteen years old. The baby is my daughter.”

Cashier #1: *blushes a little* “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

Me: “It’s okay! We’re pretty far apart in age, so…”

Cashier #2: *overhears us and interrupts* “Don’t apologize to them! She shouldn’t be lying to cover up for her daughter’s mistakes!”

(My sister, [Cashier #1], and I are all speechless for a moment. [Cashier #2] gives me a dirty look and walks away.)

Cashier #1: *looking mortified* “I am so sorry!

Sister: *sighs* “It’s okay. Let’s just check out before she comes back. I really do want these items.”

Me: “Hey, [Niece] is awake! Want to look at her?”

(I held my niece up, and seeing her squishy baby face seemed to make the cashier feel better. We checked out and went back to my sister’s house. When we got there, we realized that the cashier had given us an extra discount on some of the clearance items, and had included a coupon for a future purchase. My sister really wasn’t that offended by [Cashier #1]’s misunderstanding; it was [Cashier #2] that threw us for a loop. Although, my sister told me she went back to the store a few weeks later to use her coupon, and found out that [Cashier #2] was “no longer with the company.”)

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