Insulated From Logic

(A customer has called our support line because his computer won’t turn on. After 30 minutes of basic troubleshooting I recommend he either bring his machine to us or have a tech dispatched for an on site repair. He chooses to have a tech dispatched. As I am finishing the call…)

Customer: “Oh, one last question. Can the tech work on my computer around the cooler, or do I have to remove it before he gets here?”

Me: “We generally advise that you don’t do anything like that yourself, since you would be voiding your warranty. If anything needs to be removed from the computer the tech will do it himself.”

Customer: “I know that. I was asking if I should remove the computer from the cooler.”

Me: “Remove the computer?”

Customer: “Yeah. Should I take it out of the cooler?”

Me: “Your computer is in a cooler? Like, the kind of cooler you take to a beach to keep your drinks cold? That kind of cooler?”

Customer: “Exactly.”

Me: “Why is your computer in a cooler, sir?”

Customer: “A few days ago I read that heat can be really bad for a computer. My living room gets really hot in the afternoon, so I put the computer in a cooler to protect it from the heat.”

Me: “Sir, you know that coolers are insulated, right?”

Customer: “I’m not stupid. I know what a cooler is.”

Me: “And you know that computers produce heat, right?”

Customer: “Like I said, I’m not stupid!”

Me: “Then you know what happens when you put something that produces heat inside of an insulated container, right?”

Customer: “I, uh, oh…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “This is going to be expensive, isn’t it?”