Instead Of FedEx You’re Fed Up

, , , , | Right | February 28, 2020

A customer comes into my store to ship a package via FedEx.

Me:
“I’m sorry, sir, we don’t take FedEx, just UPS.”

Customer:
“Yes, you do. You took a package from me just last week.”

Me:
“There must be some confusion; we have not taken FedEx for nearly a decade. However, there is a FedEx store about five minutes away.”

Customer:
“Yes, you did! I took it right to that counter and they scanned it and took it.”

Me:
“No, they didn’t. The scanner for that machine is broken.”

Customer:
“Yes, they did!”

Me:
“Sir, I broke the scanner for that computer myself the week before Thanksgiving. It has been removed for over eight months.”

Customer:
“Just scan it! It will work.”

Me:
“I can’t just scan it. There is no scanner.”

Customer:
“This is stupid. How long have you worked here, anyway?”

Me:
“Seven years.”

Customer:
“You clearly have no clue what you are doing. The vendor I ordered this from said I could bring it here.”

Me:
“Your vendor is wrong, sir.”

Customer:
“I’m just going to leave it on the counter. Someone who knows what they are doing will take care of this later.”

Me:
“You’re welcome to do that, sir. But understand that I will be mailing you a letter informing you that if you do not come pick it back up, I will be throwing it away.”

The customer shuts up and considers his options.

Customer:
“I’m calling your corporate office and telling them that you have no idea how to do your job!”

And he walked out with his package.

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