Instead Of FedEx You’re Fed Up

A customer comes into my store to ship a package via FedEx.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t take FedEx, just UPS.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. You took a package from me just last week.”

Me: “There must be some confusion; we have not taken FedEx for nearly a decade. However, there is a FedEx store about five minutes away.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! I took it right to that counter and they scanned it and took it.”

Me: “No, they didn’t. The scanner for that machine is broken.”

Customer: “Yes, they did!”

Me: “Sir, I broke the scanner for that computer myself the week before Thanksgiving. It has been removed for over eight months.”

Customer: “Just scan it! It will work.”

Me: “I can’t just scan it. There is no scanner.”

Customer: “This is stupid. How long have you worked here, anyway?”

Me: “Seven years.”

Customer: “You clearly have no clue what you are doing. The vendor I ordered this from said I could bring it here.”

Me: “Your vendor is wrong, sir.”

Customer: “I’m just going to leave it on the counter. Someone who knows what they are doing will take care of this later.”

Me: “You’re welcome to do that, sir. But understand that I will be mailing you a letter informing you that if you do not come pick it back up, I will be throwing it away.”

The customer shuts up and considers his options.

Customer: “I’m calling your corporate office and telling them that you have no idea how to do your job!”

And he walked out with his package.