Installer: The Game
I used to work on a customer support line for a video game company. This is back when PC videogames came in big boxes with multiple discs, manuals, and lots of other stuff.
Caller: “How do I install my game?”
Me: “What happens after you’ve inserted disc one?”
Caller: “I haven’t done that yet?”
Me: “Did the box not come with a manual?”
Caller: “You mean this book thingy?”
Me: “Sir… that “book thingy” is the step-by-step guide, with pictures, describing how to install the game.”
Caller: “Yeah, that thing had too many words. I’m not a computer guru, so you’ll have to fix this.”
Me: “Sir, just insert disc one.”
Caller: “How do I know which one is disc one?”
Me: “It will say disc one on it. And on the paper sleeve it comes in.”
Caller: “Oh yeah…”
He inserts the disc.
Caller: “Now what?”
Me: “Has the auto installer loaded?”
Caller: “Yeah.”
Me: “What does it say?”
Caller: “Press ‘OK’ to begin install.”
Me: “Press ‘OK’.”
The caller does so. It gets to the part where it asks permission to copy files to the drive.
Caller: “I don’t know how to do that. Can we skip it?”
Me: “You need to do that. You just select “OK” like you’ve been doing up until now.”
Caller: “Yeah, but I don’t understand the question. Can you come and do it for me?”
Me: “No, sir. I am available only to guide you on the phone. All we are doing is going through the exact same steps outlined in the instruction manual.”
Caller: “No. It’s your job to do it for me.”
Me: “Sir, when you buy a car radio you don’t expect the people selling you the radio to teach you how to drive. We are a video game company, and there is the expectation that a user knows how a computer works or can follow the guides we provide, which outline the steps or provide pictures. If you can’t follow these, you need to ask for help from a friend, family member, or even a computer technician to do this for you.”
Caller: “…so I just press “OK”?”
Me: “Yes.”
I hear a click.
Me: “Is it installing?”
Caller: “No.”
Me: “Did you press “OK”?”
Caller: “I pressed “Cancel”.”
Me: “Why did you do that?”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Sigh…
That was a long call. When we finally got the game installed, he asked:
Caller: “So… can I go shoot stuff now?”
Me: “That’s the aim of the game, so… have fun.”
He called back an hour later, saying the game was too hard because the “things in the game shoot back,” and it wasn’t fair.
How do some people get this far in life and not get themselves unalived?
UPDATE: The OP has provided a rewording to the ending of this story.
