Insert A Pun Here About Us Having Reservations

I had a woman come to the desk to check in. I took her ID and card and checked her against the Do Not Rent list before proceeding. And there she was: about a month before, she was added to the list because we received a number of noise complaints about her room and she was throwing cigarette butts on a guest’s car.

I returned her ID and her card to her.

Me: “I’m afraid we will not be honoring your reservation because you are on our Do Not Rent list.”

Woman: “Why?”

Me: *Lying* “I don’t know why; it’s just a list of names.”

I do this because one, I was not the one who dealt with the situation and knew very few details, and two, I rarely give people the reason because I don’t have to and chances are they’re just going to argue against it anyway. This way, it’s harder for them to say they didn’t do what they did.

She didn’t like that answer.

Woman: “Call a manager!”

I declined, which she also didn’t like. We went back and forth; she kept insisting I had to tell her why she was on the DNR list, and I kept pointing out that I didn’t.

Woman: “This is discrimination!”

I assume she said this because she was Hispanic, as well as trans.

Me: “No, that would be illegal.”

I don’t discriminate against folks anyway, but it wasn’t the time or place to have that conversation.

After a few minutes, she refused to leave, and I had another guest to check in.

Woman: “I have every right to stay at this hotel! I’m not going anywhere unless I’m trespassed.”

I shrugged, said, “Okay,” and picked up the phone to call the police. She got mad that I was calling the police and stormed off, screaming at me.

About twenty minutes later, a man came up to the desk.

Man: “I want to apologize for my friend’s behavior. She’s going to stay somewhere else, but I’d still like to stay here.”

Me: “No. Because you’re with someone on the Do Not Rent list, we won’t rent to you, either.”

He didn’t argue; he just left. The irony was that I hadn’t seen him with her because of where he parked. If he’d said nothing, I wouldn’t have known they were together.

The next day, a man came up to the window to check in. He was wearing a mask. Because we had been using a night window to check people in, not everyone had been wearing a mask. I wasn’t positive, but I had an inkling he might be the guy from the previous day. I took his ID and credit card anyway and checked his name against the DNR list. And guess who was there?

I returned his ID and his card to him and told him he was on the list, and he hung his head and sulked off. Afterward, I checked the cameras and played CSI, using his tattoos to confirm it was the same guy as yesterday.

Nice try with the mask. Too bad he was already stupid here once before.