Insert A Proust Reference That Makes Us Sound Cool Here

I work at the pick-up counter and register of a bookstore. I am not trained in advising customers on what they want to read. I cannot tell them which book they are looking for by color, the name of a character, or a half-quote from somewhere in the middle of a book. I can hand them a book they have previously ordered (if they remember their own name), take their money for in-store purchases, gift wrap their books, or tell them where they can find a decent restaurant or the closest bathroom. On a quiet day, I can place an order if they know exactly what they are looking for or I can find what they want on Google.

I get approached by a customer — an elderly lady who looks to be at least in her eighties.

Customer: “I am looking for the newest book by Brecht.”

Me: “Do you have your pick-up number for me? Otherwise, I need your name, please.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I haven’t ordered it.”

Me: “All right. Let me see if I can help you. By Bertolt Brecht, you said?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Okay. Well, Brecht has been dead since 1956, but there may of course be a “new” publication of some of his works. What do I know? I just work the register. I check our system but cannot find anything that seems to be what she is looking for.

Me: “Okay. I cannot really find anything current. Brecht, you said? Would you happen to have a title?”

Customer: “No. The newest one. I bought the first three books last year.”

I go back to checking the system. I can also not find anything that seems to match the “first three books” she bought recently.

Me: “I am really sorry. I don’t think I can find what you are looking for. You might want to head to the department on the second floor. My coworker may know what you are looking for. I am not really trained to help you.”

Customer: “Brecht. How hard can it be to find the most recent book by Brecht?”

I think I may have found the problem.

Me: “Are you possibly thinking of Precht? Not Brecht? Richard Precht?”

Customer: “Yes, Precht!”

Me: “All right. Are you looking for a fourth part of Eine Geschichte Der Philosophie? I can only find three volumes…”

A coworker walks past and sees me searching our system, a bit flustered, looks at the customer, and looks back at me.

Coworker: “She is looking for Proust. Check her account; I placed the order for her last week. It’s on back order.”

The order? “Auf Der Suche Nach Der Verlorenen Zeit” by Marcel Proust, a new edition, in three volumes.