Infinitely Loopy, Part 5

(I’m trying to open a bank account for the first time. I have all the required items: two pieces of I.D., the money needed to open an account, and a letter from my employer as proof of address. At least, I thought I had everything.)

Teller: “Sorry, we cannot accept this as proof of address.”

Me: “Really? It’s a notarized letter from my employer on official stationary. What would be acceptable?”

Teller: “We need a bank statement as proof of address to open an account.”

Me: “A… bank statement?”

Teller: “Yes.”

Me: “How am I supposed to have a bank statement if I’ve never opened a bank account?”

Teller: “Sorry?”

Me: “I don’t have a bank statement because I can’t open an account. I can’t open an account because I don’t have a bank statement because I can’t open an account because I don’t have a bank statement… so on and so forth.”

Teller: *smiles and shrugs* “Okay?”

(I spent the next fifteen minutes trying to get her to understand the fallacy, but to no avail. The other teller was somewhat more helpful, but ultimately wasn’t able to do anything, either. I guess I’m never opening a bank account!)