Increasing Rungs Of Anger

(I’m at the takeaway when my wife calls.)

Wife: *clearly distressed* “Home, now.”

Me: “But honey…”

Wife: “Home! Now!”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Wife: “Home! Now!”

(I return home as soon as possible without breaking too many speed limits or causing accidents. The house is not on fire. Everything looks normal. I enter cautiously and find my wife on the sofa, still in distress, and my two-year-old playing on the rug with the dog without a care in the world. I have to add that earlier I made some minor repairs to the roof and left the ladder out.)

Wife: “Ladder. Gone. Now.”

Me: *carefully, still not finding an urgency* “Sure, honey, after dinner.”

Wife: “Ladder. Gone. Now.”

Me: *slightly irritated* “Yes, but after dinner…”

Wife: “Now!”

Me: “But dinner will get cold…”

(As she threw me a murderous look, I went outside and took away the ladder. When I reentered, she was calmed down enough to explain what happened. She was in the kitchen when she heard what she thought was the cat on the roof but it sounded a bit heavy, so she decided to check. Somehow, our toddler, who has the run of the house and the garden — which is normally childproof — made it up the ladder and up the roof. I admit I needed a bit of a sit-down after that, as well. And in the three years since, I’ve never forgotten to take the ladder back down again when I was done working. Our daughter is still the adventurous and exploring type.)