Incomprehensibly Intemperate

(My girlfriend and I are coworkers at a retail store. She is bilingual, but Spanish is her native language. If you yell at her while speaking in English, she won’t understand what you’re saying. It will sound jumbled up to her.)

Girlfriend: “Okay, sir. That all rings up to $30.42.”

Customer: *yelling* “What? How the f*** is it that expensive?!”

Girlfriend: “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

Customer: “You little b****! You’re trying to cheat me out of my money!”

Girlfriend: “Sir, can you please not yell? I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Customer: “Yes, you do, you liar! There’s no way it can cost that much!”

(At this point, my girlfriend is getting frustrated and calls me over to translate.)

Girlfriend: “Kaycee, please tell me what he’s saying.”

Customer: “This b**** is trying to cheat me out of money!”

Me: “Sir, she cannot understand you because you are yelling at her. If you would simply talk in a normal voice, she will understand you. Also, I’m looking on the screen at your items, and she is not trying to cheat you. Your total comes up to $30.42.”

Customer: “She understood me before!”

Me: “That’s because you were not yelling. She does not understand when people yell at her. Furthermore, accusing her of cheating you when she is not will not get you a lower price. You still have to pay the full price.”

Customer: “F*** that! I’m not paying that price!”

Me: “So, you had my girlfriend ring all your items up, and now you are refusing to pay for them because you don’t like the price?”

Customer: “That’s right! See if I ever shop here again!” *storms out of store*