In The Firing Line

, | Right | December 19, 2014

(I work in a small supermarket in my small town. It’s near Christmas and we are fully staffed. I’m on my break after four hours of constant checkout work. I am in the queue with some food with a very impatient customer who is a frequent annoyance in our store. I already handed my notice of leaving in and am starting a new job after Christmas.)

Customer: *looks at me* “I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes!” *it has actually been more like four minutes*

Me: “Yeah, it’s very busy this time of year. Everybody does last minute shopping. I’m only going to have five minutes to each my lunch.” *attempt at defusing with a laugh*

Customer: “Why are you not working? Can you not jump on a till?”

Me: “Sorry, I am on my break. I’ve been here since six am.”

Customer: “I thought you people were meant to help customers whenever they need? The poster says so.”

Me: “I am sorry, but all the tills are being used.” *gestures to all tills* “And the poster says ‘ask a member of staff and we will try to help you.'”

Customer: “I know you have a spare till in the back that you only use for staff. Can you not bring it out? *giving the b***iest look I’ve ever seen*

Me: *with a sarcastic shocked look* “How do you know about our secret till?! I am only used as a decoy here in the customer queue so nobody can catch on to our super secret discount staff till in the back because I love to wait in a queue instead of eating my lunch!”

(The customer then scoffs and gets served and turns around to me.)

Customer: “I would wish you a Merry Christmas but you’re obviously not as educated as me to comprehend such words.”

Me: “And a very Merry Christmas to you too, Mrs [Customer]. I can’t wait to serve you and your excessive amount of booze on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings whilst everyone judges you in the queue!” *smiles*

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