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In The Doghouse Before You Even Get Together

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | July 9, 2020

This happens when I am in high school. There is this guy flirting with me. He makes his intention clear, but honestly, I am just trying to get to know him at this point. 

One day, after school, we walk together on our way to our respective homes. 

Guy: “Hey, let’s go by there; I’ve got to show you something.”

Me: “Okay.”

It gets me closer to my place, so why not?

Guy: “See, this house over here—” 

He points at the house on the other side of the street.

Guy: “—they have f****** huge dogs!”

We cross the street, and I wait on the sidewalk as he goes near the wood fence — about six feet tall — where I can see that there are, indeed, larger breed dogs. 

Guy: “There are three of these beasts in there!”

He’s getting closer to the fence, trying to boast and show off how courageous he is. He is about to touch the fence but can’t find a way to stick his hand in. He’s frozen there acting all, “Whoa, scary!” He’s being dramatic, I guess.

I join him, stick my hand inside the fence, and… get licked. There’s lots of licking and tails wagging, and one even does this little “happy dance,” tapping its front paws up and down.

Me: “Hi, [Dog #1]! Hi, [Dog #2]! Hi, [Dog #3]!”

Guy: *Completely white and deflated* “Uh… you know them?”

Me: “Yes, this is my home. These are our family dogs. They are big but not evil, violent, or whatnot. I don’t recommend coming in uninvited, but you can stick your hand in and pet them; the worst you’ll get is licked, maybe some fur fluffing off and sticking to you.”

Guy: *Eyes bugging out* “Uh…”

Me: “Yeah, so, next time, maybe you should make sure to not come to a girl’s house and imply that her pets are some scary monsters.”

I was less than impressed with him. My giant forever puppies got extra cuddles that day. 

I won’t tell the exact breeds — all different anyway — because it does not matter; breeds are not a behavior. Be cautious with dogs you don’t know, but don’t tag them as good or bad from their size, color, breed, etc.

This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

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Read the July 2020 Roundup!

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