In Soviet Russia, Mother Translates You!
(I am on holiday with my parents. To enter many tourist places in Moscow, you have to go through metal detectors and a bag check. My first language is English but I can understand some Russian. However, I struggle if it’s spoken quickly. My mother, who is fluent, has gone through the detector. The guard says something quickly to me, which I don’t catch. I look at my mum for help, so she comes over.)
Mum: “Put your bag on the table and walk through.”
(The guard looks confused as I place the bag on the table and walk through the detector. The guard says something else, and I glance at my mum again.)
Mum: “Take the bag.”
(I do so. The guard frowns but says something else.)
Mum: “Open it.”
(I open the bag. The guard, still looking really confused, checks it and nods to indicate I can go. It is at this moment that I realise why the guard is so confused.)
Me: *in English* “Mum, thanks for translating all of his instructions into Russian for me.”
Mum: “Wait, did I really?”
(The guard apparently understood some English because at this point, he looked at us and laughed before returning to checking the next person.)