In Soviet Russia, Language Speaks You

(My mother and I are walking around the local mall to do some window shopping. It’s the holiday season, so kiosk employees are being particularly pushy.)

Kiosk Worker: “Ladies! Can I interest you in some hair products today? You, little lady, step up here! Just let me show you something!”

Me: “No, thank you.” *in Russian, to my mother* “I swear they get pushier every single year.”

Kiosk Worker: *also in Russian* “Come on ladies, please?”

Mom: “Now they speak our language, too?! Let’s get out of here!”