In Receipt Of Some Confusion

, , , | Right | September 5, 2018

(The customer in this story never actually raises his voice, but he speaks very intensely and slowly the whole time, practically leaning over the counter, looking me in the eye as much as possible.)

Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

Customer: “Only if you print it.”

(I pause, confused.)

Customer: “I only want it if you print it.”

(Thinking he means that he doesn’t want it emailed, I print the receipt. Hesitantly, I hand it to him.)

Me: “You said you wanted it?”

Customer: *shaking head* “No, ma’am, I didn’t. I said I only wanted it if you printed it.”

(I try to draw the receipt back to throw away, but he reaches for it.)

Me: “I didn’t understand what you meant.”

Customer: “I don’t know why; I say that to some people, and they just don’t print it, and I say it to others and they print it. I don’t get what’s so confusing about it, maybe you can tell me what I’m saying that’s confusing.”

Me: “I just didn’t know if you didn’t want it emailed…”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want it emailed, I only wanted it if you had to print it, because I have to destroy it. And I don’t want you to throw it away, because I don’t want someone finding it and getting my information. So I have to destroy it. But I don’t want to destroy it because I want to save a tree. I’d like to save a tree.”

(I nod as he finally leaves, and the next customer comes up, rolling her eyes and laughing quietly.)

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