In Real Hot Sauce Now

(I stop by a popular sub shop before a meeting one night. All goes well until we get to the condiments. The girl helping me has been working here a while, so I know she’s familiar with how it all works.)

Worker: “And what else would you like on that?”

Me: “Ranch, please.”

Worker: *slowly reaches for the sriracha sauce, which is a hot sauce: very much the opposite of ranch*

Me: “No. The ranch, please.”

Worker: *looks at me and then keeps going for the sriracha*

Me: “I said ranch, please!”

Worker: *picks up the sriracha and looks at me again before covering the sub in sriracha sauce*

Me: “Uh, I said ranch several times.”

Worker: *looks down at the sub* “Oh… I don’t know why I did that.”

Me: “Me, neither.”