In Good Standing, If Not Good Ruling

(It’s the first day of our anatomy and physiology 201 course.)

Professor: “Okay, I have some ground rules. First, don’t break the models. ‘U of A’ med school gets the good stuff, so even our crappy hand-me-downs will cost more than your tuition. Also, you MAY NOT call me Dr. [Last Name], Professor, Mr. [Last Name], or anything of the sort. You’re in college now, not high school. If you MUST, you can call me [First Name], but your main choices are ‘Snakeboy’ or ‘The Great and Powerful Oz.'”

(The class laughs at this, but the professor isn’t finished.)

Professor: “Last, you all have my number now, so if you end up drunk at a bar, I will pick you up in exchange for a beer. I expect you all to extend the same courtesy to me. It’s only fair. Now, sign the class conduct paper. None of you read them and I don’t enforce half the rules anyway. Good? Okay, class dismissed.”

(Our first session was about 15 minutes long. Make no mistake. Students learned more from him than any of the other instructors, but we did so with an equal dose of side-splitting hilarity.)