Hedge(wig) Your Bets On This Love Lasting

(My roommates are annoyingly affectionate. I am getting ready to go to bed when the male roommate asks me to text his girlfriend, as his phone is lousy and she is out late with friends.)

Me: *texting* “Your dude says he misses you.”

Female Roommate: “Tell him I love him!”

Me: “I’m not an owl!”