In A Socially Secure And Stable Relationship

(I am out having a coffee when I get a somewhat urgent text from my boyfriend.)

Boyfriend: “What’s your SSN?”

Me: “I’ll give it to you, but can I ask why, please?”

Boyfriend: “So I can take life insurance out in your name before coming up with a ludicrous plot to have you killed which will be thwarted at the last minute by the FBI. …Well, either that or name you as a beneficiary of my pension in case I die.”