Impossible Requests? Practically Bathing In Them

, , , , , , | Right | May 30, 2018

(I work at a grooming salon. My coworker and I are taking a slight breather before getting to our last dogs of the evening. I’m in the back where the kennels are, getting a jump on the cleaning, and my coworker is up in the actual salon, squaring away our paperwork. She walks into the back with me, and we exchange about three sentences, and then I walk up to the front to adjust my table and make sure all of my tools are organized and ready. As I walk into the salon, I notice a woman who just barely got inside. The door is literally still swinging closed. I smile at her, and she makes a face back at me.)

Customer: “Whew! There you are! I was starting to get worried we were in the wrong place!”

Me: “Well, you found the grooming salon, if that’s what you were looking for.”

Customer: “I was just wondering if you have time to wash my little girl here. She just needs a shampoo and a blow-dry.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, but we’re completely booked up. Actually, we don’t have any bath appointments until two days from now.”

Customer: “Well, she’s just a little six-pound Yorkie. She’s no trouble at all!”

Me: “She’s so adorable! What a cutie! I’m so sorry that we can’t take her!”

(My coworker walks out with her goldendoodle, who is so huge he puts some ponies to shame.)

Customer: “Well, how long does it take to wash a dog?”

Me: “We usually quote three to four hours, though it could be more or less, depending on how the dog does for everything.”

Customer: “And what time do you close tonight?”

Me: “Six o’clock.”

(It’s currently 4:30.)

Customer: “I don’t want the whole works; I just want a little shampoo and a blow-dry, not even a full bath.”

(I tend to have a rather monotone voice and resting b****-face, so I try to make sure that I smile and sound pleasant. This customer is definitely trying my patience, and it’s really important to me that it does not come out in my face or voice.)

Me: “Yes, a shampoo and a blow-dry is considered a full bath. Again, I am so sorry that we are unable to accommodate you tonight!”

Customer: “It’s just… I’m visiting some friends, and she really needs a bath.”

Me: “Yes, it’s really too bad that I can’t take her. She really is just so cute!”

Customer: “I’ve been to other [Store] branches; I should be in your system.”

Me: “I’m sure you are. All of the [Store] computer systems are connected.”

(We both pause awkwardly, as she is unwilling to leave, and I’m grasping for a polite way to tell her that I have to get back to work.)

Customer: “Well… I guess… if you don’t have time.”

Me: “Yes, I’m really sorry that we don’t, but maybe we can help you out some other time!”

(The customer turns to the door and grasps the handle, and I almost hold my breath in hopes that she’ll leave already.)

Customer: “I’ve already told you that I’m not from around here. DON’T SAY THAT!”

Me: *smiling hugely* “Okay! Y’all have a great night!”

(As soon as the door closes, my coworker and I start cackling like mad.)

Me: “What just happened?”

Coworker: “I don’t know; I’m just glad I came out when I did so that I could witness it!” *imitates customer* “’I already told you I’m not from here. DON’T SAY THAT!’”

Me: “How many times did I tell her no? And somehow I’m the one who didn’t listen?”

(It had actually been a really stressful day, so I was almost a little thankful to the customer for giving my coworker and me something to laugh about while we finished our dogs.)

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